#also yeah i have not slept again
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Starting episode 9 and taking note of the name of the writer in the credits in case I have to become their worst nightmare
#am i joking tho#AM I#I'm not sure I am#jwct#jwct spoilers#jurassic world chaos theory#also yeah i have not slept again#who needs it#not me
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I feel you, its so bad 😭, I had to go on a functioning adult human schedule for school and good god, out the house by 7am... bad bitches are not built for that..
WE REALLY ARE... and man, I can brute force myself into any schedule if there are things that HAVE to be done at certain times (like school, like you said) but it absolutely never feels "right". it feels like waking up at 3am to go to the airport type of shit. and it is truly so annoying... to get hit with the "that's a Normal schedule, you need to Fix your schedule" okay. alright. but let me hit you with this one. is it "normal" or is it just conducive to a 8 - 5. because no matter what my sleep schedule is like, or how locked in I am, I'm more clear headed at night + more productive and energetic. and no matter what, I'm tired during the day, especially the brightest times of day when the sun is allegedly supposed to be signaling my brain to be awake and alert. and it doesn't matter how much sleep I got.
#I can wake up in The Early Morning after going to bed at a reasonable hour the night prior and be exhausted throughout the daytime#and if I make it to the night then I'll suddenly perk back up. if I woke up at 7am that morning (with 8 hours of sleep under my belt)#I can comfortably stay awake until 5 or 6am that very next morning.#I need to Adapt to the daytime schedule- but if I loosen my grip on myself at all I will instantly SNAP back to the nighttime one.#full rubberband moment.#I don't need to transition back into it. my body just wants to click it back in place#I'll go right back into the swing of it as soon as I'm allowed to again#sergle answers#also I don't have trouble sleeping in daylight hours. yeah I have the curtains drawn in my room#but they aren't Blackout curtains. it's dim in there but not Dark. that doesn't impede me at all#it is crazy the way that people are so confident in telling me to my face that I'm on a bad and lazy schedule#bc they are categorizing my wake-up time as 'sleeping in' bc they're measuring it on their standard of when THEY go to bed.#i could go to bed at noon and wake up at 3pm and they'd say that i slept in
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I feel like, if Jason was ever de-aged, Bruce wouldn't leave his side and be the best dad ever for him (he sees it as a second chance)
#jason todd#batfam#bruce wayne#dick grayson#the batkids would definitely be jealous#tf you mean Bruce can be a good dad?!#bruce: of course we can spend time together son😊🥰#dick: see that's why i hated to visit back then#tim: I think I never saw bruce smiling like that when I was Robin#Damian: tt#also Damian: does father even love me? *identity crisis*#Barbara: yeah seems about right#alfred being Jason's favorite makes bruce jealous#Bruce: Heeeeeey Alfie. Wanna visit Great Britain? You know you deserve it#alfred: only if master todd comes with me#bruce: fuuu#jason: vacation? in Great Britain? Isn't it too expensive?#Bruce: I'll buy you anything you want even if it makes me poor because its gonna be worth it to see you smile#that's how Jason alfred and bruce went to london without the others#when jason is older again he wonders how it is possible that he has those memories of being young but having more siblings#bruce: idk what you mean? it was always just you and dick back then.#jason: then how come i have a memory where damian tries to kill because Alfred the cat slept in my room instead of his?!#bruce: idk bad dream?#meanwhile Alfred shows everyone the cute pictures he took of jason in London#duke is baby jays favorite
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p5 hs au where they’re mostly all musical theater losers except one day transfer delinquent akira decides to try out for the winter musical and gets the lead male role despite having absolutely no vocal and or acting experience at all and akechi—dedicated to his craft nerd, semi-spotlight hoarder—is infuriated at this, even more so that he was chosen to be this delinquent’s understudy despite readily earning all other male leads prior. to make matters worse akira seems to genuinely want his friendship and everyone else in the department adores him so akechi has to be cordial and their relationship slowly progresses from akechi laying in bed at night weighing the merits of poisoning akira right before opening night to him begrudgingly agreeing to help run lines in the goddamn attic of his uncle’s cafe that was supposedly his residence for the whole delinquent-expulsion thing he’d wedged himself into to him kind-of-sort-of-maybe enjoying his company outside of rehearsal more—platonically, obviously, no really, because goro didn’t even swing that way to begin with, just because he was a broadway geek didn’t make him gay, alright—he’d expected (sumire teases him about this relentlessly and it almost makes him want to pull a poisoning stunt on her instead. but then who would be the show’s leading lady?). and of course, the musical opens without a hitch, and goro sneaks into the audience for act I and wonders why he ever doubted kawakami’s casting in the first place, because akira’s voice is strong and melodic and echoes—yes, it fucking echoes throughout the cheap auditorium, mic and all—and there’s the slightest hint of perspiration upon his brow and goro can see the sheen of the makeup he’d applied to the former’s face long before the show had began, and, in any and all ways, he is the perfect prince eric to sumire’s ariel, and if there’s a something in his chest every time akira sings or acts or dances and absolutely enraptures the audience with his stupidly magnetic everything, goro chalks it up to the magic of theater. intermission arrives much too soon, and he sneaks backstage to revitalize the cast for a stellar act II, and suddenly akira is dragging him to a secluded dressing room, eyes wide and frantic and he tells him that he can’t do this, he’s not an actor, he’s not a singer, and he is certainly not a prince eric and at the end of all this rambling he tells goro that he has to go out there in the next act in his stead because god knows that he was more deserving of the role than akira himself ever was and he’s probably just making a huge fool out of himself and their entire department out on stage and sumire deserves a fellow lead who has far more experience and talent that he could ever provide—and then, there are lips on his. it’s quick and chaste because it is intermission after all, and they’re on a time crunch, but goro knocks their foreheads together, not caring in the slightest about tarnishing akira’s makeup, and they breathe in each other’s being, and, well, akira’s been wanting that kiss for far longer—the first time he saw goro—than he’s willing to admit, and when the former tells him to get it the fuck together because he’s killing it out there and also the crowd would probably beat akechi with hammers if he replaced him because, yes, akira’s performance had been so astonishing and riveting even only one act down so far, he laughs softly, helplessly perhaps, and then he nods, trying desperately not to cry because he doesn’t think he has the time to fix his makeup any more extensively than he already will have to in the next few minutes.
so akechi send akira back on stage to finish the musical, and he watches from the audience once more as the chemistry between the two leads, as well as just about everything akira does, enraptures the whole audience, and their performance concludes with deafening applause. they nearly collide with one another, both desperate to reach the other post-performance, and he hugs akira so tightly and laughs and cheers so loudly that it’s drawing slight attention, not that akechi would ever care about what anyone thinks anyways, and he certainly displays his lack of care for passerby-confusion when he’s pulling akira into a kiss so deep, so desperately-desired by both for so long that they’re lost in each other completely, so lost that they don’t hear sumire’s light, amused gasp or the click of ann’s polaroid, because why would they break a moment they both want to stay in forever? and akechi thinks to himself, maybe he could get used to this guy stealing his roles if it meant he gets to occasionally wake up in the attic above a homely little cafe with a cat purring next to him and grey eyes staring forever into his.
#ok so this kind of got away from me. but theater shuake has been on the mind…#intermission break-down moment taken from legendary hsmtmts scene that should have been caswen. it SHOULDVE always been caswen. stop ill cry#again i miss caswen and what they could’ve been. if the show was not ran by COWARDS.#anyways. yeah. ngl i do fw this au. they need to nerd together. even better if goro is the sole nerd but somehow thinks he is not.#shuake#persona 5#my hcs#shuake theater au#new tag perhaps..#also it is five in the morning and i haven’t slept. is that relevant here.
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“I can’t be angry with you…” Princess Alisa spoke before bending down to give a big kiss on Princess Anilaphat's clear cheeks. “However, you should never speak of renouncing your royal status again.”
“...”
“Can you promise me?” Princess Anilaphat only gave Mother a wry smile but didn’t say anything in response. “Hearing that, I almost suffocated to death.”
“...”
“You’re my heart and your father’s heart, don’t you know?”
“Whatever father and mother wish from me, no matter how hard it is, I’m willing to do it.” Princess Anilaphat moved her body away from the embrace to make eye contact with her mother easily. “Having to leave the country to study alone since I was a little kid and barely knew a thing, l did it. When I returned, mother didn’t want me to practice the profession I studied; fearing that I would be in dire straits, I continued my studies to become a teacher like father and mother intended me to be.”
“...”
“Why is the only thing I asked for… mother couldn't give me in return?"
“…”
“So, what is the point of having such a high rank if I cannot grab what I desire?”
“Anil… what you desire is inappropriate for you.”
“How inappropriate is that? Is it so easy to meet the person I love, Mother?”
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i have been personally loving the work on adaptation the loyal pin has done on the show. the show is extremely loyal (lmao) to its source and all the changes provided do feel in line with the orignal work which is why i cant wait to see the last few episodes.
that being said there is a few changes that sometimes collapse in itself if you havent read the book (prince anan mentioning a past forbidden love or once again prince anan already knowing about anin and pins situation and when he has to confront anin about it in front of their mother and aunt patt) which all could be discussed about how you adapt a book. but i personally want to bring up something that is as trivial as one line in the book but to me !! it is a little nuance that feels too bad to be left out.
anin wanted to find a job in architecture upon returning to thailand but her parents (especially mother) didn’t let her.
the show and books make a beautiful cases to demonstrate how misogyny, class and homophobia are all deeply connected as being the great obstacle for anin and pin, together and both separately, each navigating a cage that is held above them even by their closest relatives.
and so comes the question of independence. financial independence. financial independence is truly one of the biggest shackles to be taken down when mentioning Anything related to self determination. because seeing anin more than willing to drop what gives her the most security in life for pin who knows what that non security implies, means that you must have at least what you must to be self sufficient.
anin wishing for this before the whole mess of pin’s engagement both shows how she already wanted to be independent as early as possible and that her parents, despite specifically sending her abroad for ‘more honorable studies’ and such do see anin getting a job in architecture as a Lesser way to live. because she would not be a comfortable as her current situation and inflict again their wishes on her on which job she should aim for while still remaining tied to them.
this detail is trivial and just one more line in the whole theme of the book of how misogyny ties women down to their position theyre supposed to fulfil, and have other women keep you in check of that. but it also comes with the whole realisation for anin of how despite the looks and support and liberties her class allows her to get, her gender will ultimately always be what societal expectations throws her back into. and that wish of financial independence prior to pin’s engagement shows that she was well aware of that, or at the very least in part, and was once again trying to sneak out of this hold.
#the loyal pin#if you get what i mean !!!!!! just saying stuff i woke up at 4am for a train and all i have in my brain is aninpin.#<- tags written when i had my draft down#but i am now refreshed and i slept and now i g]can post it after review#but yeah honestly i think this is a part that even the book should have developped on#of What does dropping your title implies for you to survive without everything that you grew up with etc etc#like i kinda get it why it didnt but could have been a nice add on#but once again loving the show and the books and seeing how they compare#also sorry for the weird formatting i dont have my laptop with me lnao
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resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3
#tmi but im regular again and literally the only change is because i've been eating enough to shit daily#i was in such a bad headspace these past few months that i could barely bring myself to eat#i'd go to sleep with my work uniform still on and wake up willing myself to get up for 30 mins and then brushing my teeth and going to work#with the same clothes i slept in#i stopped hanging out with my friends. i had nightmares abt my job.#i can only take care of myself on my days' off and i cant grok anything other than shallow entertainment like wrestling#everything else is too much for my brain to handle. i'd simply forget everything i read or play or even listen to#those three months are miserable lmao#its not just my job... its also the family issues i've been dealing with#yknow remember when i said i could have died? yeah that shit was real. fuckin love it when my mom admit my dad have the capacity to be a#family annihilator. but... since my dad have a job to keep him busy and we moved to a house where me and my sister and#my mom and dad get to have our own rooms... and my dad get to live near his old friends and family...#things have been getting better. usually we had a physical fight every two months but it hasnt happened yet and i seem to get on with him#better now. so... i guess im gonna be okay. i've been so tired and trapped#stuck between two places that are both physically and emotionally draining with no reprieve#things are changing. and i find that to be comforting despite how up in the air the future might be. i might be screwed but also? what if#i'll be fine? im at a point where im accepting any drastic changes even if its for the worse#funny how i used to like my job a lot. i guess im not to be comfortable with anything long term#posts about my life
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What are your favorite Chase moments from the show so far?
Just like with Zuma's post, it's in no specific order, I just really loved all these moments
That first Mission PAW episode when the Princess chose specifically HIM to be the watch dog and guard her crown. That was so adorable I can't even. He seemed so genuinely proud and happy there! Plus he's so damn cute wearing that tux lol
When they were going to rescue Skye and Chase was so worried upon hearing that she was the one in need of rescue. Then when Ryder was choosing which pups would be part of the rescue, that moment he was like "Pick meee pick meeee-"?? That was so cute, he really cares about her and wanted to impress her so bad lmao personally make sure she would be safe (Bonus points for his excitement over being picked for the rescue and everyone else like Go ahead king, we all know you wanted this XD)
The entire time he spent with the owlet and working to rescue the mama owl from that fallen tree. It was so sweet!! The fact I also love owls surely didn't help AUSHAUSHAUSHAU I love that episode SO MUCH
That moment when he finally turned into a Merpup. Poor boy was so fixated on "being on duty" despite wanting SO BAD to go and participate in "the fun". And he couldn't even enjoy being a merpup immediately because he was transformed just because he needed to swim faster for the rescue but he was so overjoyed anyway! Only after that mess, he could go and finally have the fun he wanted and deserved so much.
That moment in the first Sea Patrol episode when he and Skye were left behind at the beach while the rest of the team went on the first mission with the Sea Patroller. His face upon SEEING the HQ turn into a ship and sail away was just priceless XD (Also it's rare to see Chase being put on the sidelines for once lmao)
The first Ultimate Rescue episode!! God, Chase was SO HAPPY. He's THE Police Pup, he gets to lead the mission, supervise, plan, give orders. And the way all the other pups clearly loved the experience and were SO ON BOARD with being Police Pups with him, it was just awesome!
So far these are my favorite moments! Actually I legit just got to watch this first Ultimate Rescue episode like one hour ago. Not to mention it took me five days to think of these moments and then go find the episodes again to take the respective screenshots XD
#Scheduled post#I'm leaving it ready as of 6 AM yeah guess who barely slept this night again hahaha :')#Would you guys believe it if I said it's a bit difficult to pick favorite Chase moments??#I feel the show lacks a bit of creativity on what to do with him#It only became more diverse on situations after they started having different special kinds of missions like Mission PAW and Sea Patrol#Otherwise it's always the same thing over and over again#“Use your net to catch something/someone falling!”#“Use your megaphone to keep people away from the danger!”#“Use your cones to redirect the traffic away from the streets we'll be working on!”#I swear he needs more actual action#He also needs more moments with the other pups like playing around or whatever#Or to have a hobby maybe#Zuma clearly has a lot of hobbies XD#Chase is a GREAT Pup but they're doing him wrong with all that#He can be so much more!#It makes me want to WRITE#HI I'M LARYSSA AND I'M FALLING FOR THE “LET'S WRITE SOME FANFIC” TRAP ALL OVER AGAIN#Anyway XDD#Thanks for the ask!!#Paw Patrol#Paw Patrol Chase#Chase
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I have so many thoughts about jesse freaking out and instantly going to his parents' house but I cannot put them into coherent words
#finally got to watch ep 4 lets gooooooo#but yeah no hes like 24 and he went home to his parents after a bad trip like nothing happened between them#and its just like wow you really have no support system do you? you get scared and go home like a little kid because who else do you have?#your friends who thought it was stupid you didnt wanna do meth because it was makinh you paranoid#your chemistry teacher who never wants to see you again?#he freaked out and went home and slept in his childhood bedroom and its just like god hes still practically a kid#and he didnt like ask for help or anything he just went there and stayed there until they kicked him out again for having weed like fuck ma#also the fact that his little brother is a super smart overachiever like wow that family dynamic i hope we get to see more of that#🧪💎
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ok let's catch up quickly
#so i went on a few dates w this guy. long hair beautiful face kinda looked like a girl (good) said yes ma'am when i told him to do smth#(also good) film student great at photography including candids. made a sheath of leather for a sword pin i have . et cetera.#he asked to cuddle and i was like iggg and then i felt Nothing and i was like ohhh yh ok ok yep lesbian#like he meets almost all my criteria but. yeahhh no . also at the end of that date he had some weird takes. anyway broke up w him and told#him actually im p sure im a lesbian (again) and he was like yk thats the second time this has happened to me this week but its ok bc ive#fallen for this girl from berlin. and then we cooked together. anyway . met a beautiful butch lowk in love w her. weve been on (1) date.#have two exams in a few days havent studied enough going to like end it all basically. my research partner kicked me off our research#(expected(it was always skinda sketchy)) which was devastating + it happened in a lidl 15 hours into a journey from bordeaux#to go back to the UK. my friends were kinda busy paying for baguettes but also they heard this whole exchange and are kinda mad at him#my friend of 10+ years is coming over in a few days. my evil ex situationship person that i decided to stay friends w because i kept#insisting they are a good friend and not evil and also extremely beautiful? turns out shockingly enough they were evil. tried to fix them#and then i realised due to their entire friendship group being ppl like me (Every Single One of their friends are ppl they met on dating#apps then led on then dumped and proposed staying friends w) and are collectively extremely attracted to them and not over them they#keep validating the most diabolical shit they say/do to hace a chance w them. they broke up w their ex and the way they keep leading#this poor girl on and making her heartbeeak worse and saying that they want more power over her and want her to beg for them back etc...MY#JAW HAD DROPPED esp bc i didnt even know the ex was in the picture BECAUSE ME AND ONE OF OUR FRIENDS (that they also dated) HAD JUSR SLEPT#NAKED TOGETHER IN THEIR BED W THEM. GIRL. anyway that is the least of the diabolical stuff they said but no we are moving onnn#this was b4 the beautiful butch btw. anyways . i have a mitski concert tmrw i think?? idek anymore#i used to have a crush on this guy very briefly and then it disappeared and then i realised if he fundementally changed everything abt#himself then maybe id like him but ofc i didnt tell him that but i still think abt it sometimes but anyway thats irrelevant now bc 99% sure#even if he did id still not find him attractive (lesbianism). please recommend good overnight moisturisers btw i have super dry skin#right. the friend of 10 yrs. we had a hard convo abt why she essentially bullied me in year 8 and it made me highly bitter but i also love#her and ik things are diff now its been like . Many Years . and shes going to stay a while I HAVE TWO EXAMS I DONT HAVE TIME but i love her#its fine. i think i might just switch into medicine and do the whole become a neurosurgeon thing (which was my plan B) bc plan A is looking#kinda impossible rn. I WANNA TALK MORE ABT WHAT THE EX SITUATIONSHIP PERSON SAID but i wont bc i dont wanna be too mean but also . MY GOD#i had a conversation w a philosopher friend about whether i have a moral responsibility to try to fix them bc unleashing this on society#feels wrong and he said 'probably but...run' so yeah im not talking to them atm. second date w beautiful butch on monday btw IDK WHAT TO#WEAR. she said she likes fems. im just gonna wear the shortest ralph lauren skirt i have w the cute leg warmers and hope 4 the best#its 1:15 AM im abt to drink coffee and start studying bc what the FUCK man. also almost finished watching the boys its very good#one of my best friends is struggling rn it is breaking my heart i want to take the burden from her i miss her very much
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thinking about dragonsplague
#dragon’s dogma 2#dragon’s dogma#dd2#doodles#arisen odessa#fe’gahl#ever since the update i’ve never encountered dragonsplague again i kinda miss it#it was basically my excuse to give fe’gahl healer scars since he doesn’t get brined in fights that often as a healer#and he’s only forfeited once regularly#but yeah. thinking about dragonsplauge. it’s so funny that it can be slept off in camp now#makes sense fe’gahl gets to catch it but nap it off because he can’t have it full#that’s a thing he’s gotta fully catch later#he gets like. a lil taste of plague. as a treat#also gorgeous gold eyes turn to staring into your soul it’s so funny#im a sucker for illness symptoms ik its a subtle thing and meant to creep up on you but also considering what happens when you get full -#-plague. let them throw up goop is all im saying
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i want to write something but i don't think "damn bitch, you live like this?" as the opening sentence of kazuki seeing rei's apartment for the first time is appropriate
#buddy daddies#also im not entirely sure of how rei'd got the apartment#i know it's his apartment but from pre-canon vc drama we know that he's been living in a hotel until his credid card was blocked#that would mean he ran away from home and hide away from his father until at some point he came back and got money again#yeah im writing this tags and it starts clearning out#he probably went to kyu he suggested he should start taking jobs so he did#smaller ones but that wouldn't be enough#kazuki at the time also didn't have a house but crashed in some hotel i guess#rei slept in kyu's cafe sort of like a guard because didn't want a bed anyways#at this point i can just write lol
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sorry i just. need to rant for a second
#cause dude the whole joost situation is SO fucking upsetting#he's mentioned over and over again how overwhelming this whole overnight success thing has been for him and to respect his boundaries#and instead of yk respecting his wishes “fans” go and make things worse by constantly overstepping and being creepy and weird like hello???#like why can't we all just be normal and take a step back and enjoy things#these people are gonna end up driving him off the internet and i wouldn't blame him one bit#and the worst part is the people who should get the memo obviously don't (or refuse to) bc this isn't an isolated instance#like its been going on for a while now#idk man i just think about how hard it must be for him rn#one of the things that turned me into a joost fan (besides his music) was his personality#like i obviously dont know him on a personal basis#but from the little bits ive seen he comes across as a really genuine and sweet and kind dude#super thoughtful as well. like i just love the way he thinks and his take on things#like i remember watching his eurovision interviews and just thinking oh man this dude's a ray of sunshine LMFAO#also the literal definition of resilience like dude's been through so much stuff and hes always managed to come out on top despite of it#and thats something i really admire about him too. like the way he put it as not letting your traumas be just that#but also something that can drive you forward#but yeah dude's had more than enough like he deserves to be happy and have some peace and ppl keep ruining it for him and it makes me upset#like i actually slept like shit last night and woke up feeling terrible and i wonder if what went down yesterday w the whole live thing#has anything to do with it lmfao#and you may be like ok well youre taking it too personally and letting it affect you#and yeah maybe youre right LOL but i cant help it i care about the guy and i want him to be okay#he seems to have a really good support system though so i hope things blow over soon and he can finally have some peace#anyway. rant over! 💋#raquel speaks
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Love to torment my sister's do-nothing boyfriend. easiest method is simply doing things to reinforce his belief that my cat is actually my familiar (he is genuinely superstitious to this degree). this is easy for me because my cat is very responsive and easily trained. our recent accomplishment? she is meowing and i say "Cashmere, inside voices" and she pauses and then takes up meowing again...but quieter. Saw my sister's boyfriend struggling really hard not to immediately "call me out" in front of my sister.
#my sister is tired of her boyfriend trying to 'prove' that i'm capable of using magic to curse him#also it's not really a cute fun little 'teehee i'll trick him into thinking i can do magic and have a cool cat familiar'#and more I actively hate this guy#and he truly believes that you can't train cats to do anything beyond using a litterbox#he's also one of those guys who watches sketchy documentaries and weird podcasts and believes weird conspiracy shit#and also like just random stupid shit#the dumbest i've heard so far is that if you have glasses you should stop wearing them#so that your eyes can 'fix themselves'#not sure if there's like some alternative homeopathic bullshit he thinks you should do on top of that#but yeah my astigmatism is not gonna correct itself if i stop wearing my glasses dumbass#there's more but i think you get what i'm working with#all i need to do is teach my cat some simple tricks like 'lower your volume on my signal' and 'go where i point'#and he will start quietly (my sister will not be amused if he brings this up again) flipping his shit#like i'm lucky my cat is really responsive and trainable too. i've taught my cats simple tricks in the past#but i'm more motivated now that i have a purpose for it (riling up my sister's shitty boyfriend)#he just gets so frustrated because he wants to call me out so bad + he knows i'm 'being obvious' on purpose because no one will believe him#and it's true. he'll sound crazy if he tries to convince anyone i'm an actual witch–sorry tumblr witches but i do not believe in witchcraft#and i like to emphasize this by openly saying things to my sister like#'haha almost slept in this morning because Cashmere turned off my alarm so we could cuddle longer'#i previously explained to my sister that she figured out that if she smacks the thing making noise it will stop#so these statements are traps. if he brings up the familiar/witch shit my sister will chew him out#because she already got the 'haha my cat smacks my noisy phone to make it stop' explanation#so him saying 'obviously this is black magic' is not gonna go well for him
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curled up in the least comfortable office chair on the planet trying to con my brain and body into speaking with one another
sending untrained mental carrier pigeons but they're getting lost and causing nerve pain instead idk
#why am i so tired why do my hands hurt so bad why is it so cold and still so noisy in here#weeehhhhhh#i think something is actually wrong with me because i can Not wake up#i havent been falling asleep at work but once im asleep? no wakey#i have slept eleven+ hours four days in a row#and i am still so. so fucking tired.#hashtag chronic illness or something idk#i have zero interest in a fibro diagnosis but every year i have to be like yeah. probably.#there's enough other bullshit goin on in here man#might also just be another facet of diabetes i haven't parsed yet cause my reactions to things have been v different in the last year#exhausting.#can my blood sugar stop tanking also#related#that's probably why im so tired tbh.#not drinking enough water either but even filtered it's making me really nauseous again#could we just. be normal for a minute goddamn.
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#well. I think I've decided I won't take the antidepressant that I take to be able to fall asleep anymore#took it again last night and I just. don't like it.#feels bad.#slept very very badly#everything was just bad#also slept for like 14 hours again and I don't like it#plus I didn't have any trouble falling asleep (lol.) the few days where I forgot to take it#and I've already got the brain zaps from forgetting to take it for three days anyway#so. yeah. we will see if I can't sleep again in like a week :)#(mainly decided that because I woke up with such a horrible headache again. no idea if it's from the medication of course but ugh it#sucks and I just hate everything rn)#personal
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finally having time to myself since 3pm yesterday (it’s 11pm rn) and i want to stay up and relax and watch stuff so i can have a nice time by myself before having to work tomorrow but i am EXHAUSTED and also want to sleep so bad😭😭😭
#i worked yesterday 8-2 and then was with friends and slept at their house and i got maybe ???? 3 hours of sleep lastnight bc of that and#THEN i had to work 8-2 AGAIN today and i got home and got picked back up by the same friends to do something and now i’m finally home and#stuff but i just don’t know what my best option is (i know i should sleep actually and get as much sleep as possible but shhhh)#i guess. i will sleep tho actually bc i can’t even concentrate on the video i was trying to watch. 20 minutes in and i have NO idea what#is happening so yeah i’ll take that as a cue to sleep#thanks for helping me decide what to do guys’#!* not ‘#ugh i don’t wanna work tomorrow i have an 8 hour shift and i don’t wanna do it 😭😭😭#saturdays are the worst bc i have to be alone all day and it drives me insane when i get a million customers that are regulars who know only#one person works at a time on saturdays like use common sense and also get fucked for being annoying i hate you all!!!!!! GRRRRR BITE BITE#ok no fr i’m going to sleeep now ok#OH WAIT ONE TINY THING I WAS DOING A TRIVIA GAME EITH MY FRIENDS TONIGHT AND THERE WAS A D&D QUESTION THAT I GOT FULLY CORRECT BC IVE BEEN#WATCHING LEGENDS OF AVANTRIS!!!!! IM SO HAPPY ABOUT IT LOL MY FRIENDS ALL DIDNT KNOW AND I WAS LIKE >:)))) BACK AWAY
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